Clutter Bunnies

Clutter is like rabbits. One cute little bunny nibbling in the backyard looks cute, sweet. You ooh and aah over it. When you show it to someone, they say, Oh, that’s cute. You see another one. Look, kids, it’s a family! You start to think, The kids would probably love a couple of bunnies themselves. On an emotional whim, you bring home the cutest little pair of bunnies from the pet store (male and female, but how were you to know?) Your kids help you buy rabbit food, and a rabbit cage, and they don’t seem to mind cleaning out the cage (the first week). Week two comes along, and Saturday morning cartoons with Bugs Bunny are now SO much more interesting than taking care of those 2 stinky rabbits that don’t talk or do ANYTHING but eat and … (ahem) eliminate what they’ve eaten (my mother taught me not to say the p-word, and she reads this blog). Then you notice that one of those not so cute bunnies is “plumper” than its male counterpart, and you find yourself looking up “Rabbit Midwifery” on Wikipedia. NOW you have some tough decisions to make:

  1. Give all your kids’ friends a bunny of their own (thus making you Public Enemy #1 amongst all your acquaintances)
  2. Abandon Drop them off at the Humane Society (if they’ll take them without charging an exorbitant fee and/or reporting you as too stupid to raise any living being, including human offspring)
  3. Give them away to some poor naïve stranger
  4. Dark thoughts, must not even think them You only have 3 options

So back to the premise. Clutter starts out so cute. You admire something that your friend has. You bring home one yourself. You like it so much you get another one (or two, because all decorative items should be grouped in uneven numbers – IT’S A RULE!) People think you must collect them, so now you receive MORE every Christmas and birthday. Now you need a decorative glass cabinet (or new room addition) to display them. You stopped dusting them long ago (way too many of them), and they are growing dust bunnies. And finally, you just want them to JUST GO AWAY before you end up on a TV show about hoarding.

Think this scenario is too extreme? Let me take you back in time with just a picture:

So let this serve as a warning to all of us that moderation is a virtue when it comes to collections. My personal standard is that if I’m not willing to dust it at least once a month, then I probably have too much of it (and getting my kids to dust it for me because
I don’t want to mess with it because there’s too much!!!! is cheating).

    One is a thing of beauty,

    Two are nice,

    Three is plenty,

    Four is a vice. – Author anonymous (because she’s ashamed of her pathetic contribution to poetry)

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